The Club I Don't Want To Be In

Sunday, I looked across the church building and saw one five month member of our special group.

Ran in the bathroom before we left and ran into another member of 5 months.

I am the newest member, two months.

For a church so small it is astonishing that there are three members of the club, along with two others that belong with the 5 month membership, but don’t attend our congregation.

That is five, yes five moms, that had to pay the ultimate dues to become a member of a club very few HAVE to join. And all in the past five months.

I don’t want to be a part of this club.

We don’t even have to speak. We look into each other’s eyes and just know.

As the 5 month member and I were speaking in the bathroom, another lady turned around and looked at us. “Yall make me feel so guilty. I get so frustrated at my teens. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing,” we both say. “Nothing.”

One to cancer, three because they chose to go out in the boat that dreary morning, and one who chose to shoot himself. All almost 19 years old.

None of the members of the club CHOSE this.

I know one thing though, we haven’t given up. We hate it.

Not sure how God will use me in this club. Not sure how to do it. I pray nobody has to join.

One thing’s for sure……. Ashley, Spencer, Chris and Josh loved Jesus. Because of that, we members will see our babies again!!

We love you kids….. That’s for sure!