Anchor

After being sick and in bed for a week, my emotions were beginning to sink. My mind had too much time to think. The only peace I had was when I was asleep. I would wake up and the ship felt like it was sinking deep.

The visions of Joshua’s last 12 hours were haunting me. Making me feel like I was drowning. Wishing I would. Let me just join him. Let me be with my boy.

But I stayed a float. Yep, I kept waking up. My body was in such destress and my mind was sinking.

 

How did I stay afloat? I know, I won’t ever forget my buoy. I have a fabulous husband, the hurting father, who misses his boy. His strength encouraging and nurturing me when I was so sick. Oh, how I love him.

But, we have a larger anchor. The anchor forever, who sustains us.

Amazingly, a couple of days ago, I get a text from one of Joshua’s friends. She and her husband knew Joshua from one of the last stores he worked in. Older than he, such an influence.

You see, Lauren and I bonded from the beginning. We have the same anchor.

She said she and “Eddie” were at a concert and the words to a song made her think of me.

Anchor – by Beautiful Eulogy –

 

At some point every human looks right in the eyes of agony

And through the tragedy asks himself how can this happen to me?

You might be the type with enough insight to hold

On for your dear life but slip because your grip is not as

Tight as you might like

You ain't immune to it, naw, and if

You true to yourself then you ain't new to it

Trusted in self, lusted and lured to it

So when the darkness overwhelms me

And the tide of life rises and swells "It is Well" is what compels me.

When faced with adversity your truth

Constantly reminds me that you command the seas with ease

And with words you're turning wind to breeze. It helps me

To understand that we stand on solid rock not on sinking

Sand. Through the providence of pain you perfect your plan

Predestined to be tested when the works and the Words of

God cooperate and educate men in the great gift of Grace

And Faith. And even though its obvious when my outlooks

Ominous you've bound my heart and my conscience and gave me

A constant calmness. So when the pain comes like rain from

The parts of life that maintains its strain I can put my

Trust in the hands that sustain. It's profound that with

All these sinking ships around me, He surrounds me and he

Anchors me with his grace abounding

I let the enemy tell me I must not be holding on to God when I feel like I’m drowning. That’s a lie. I know in my heart where my anchor is. I may feel like I am drowning, being thrown to and fro, but I’m still upright. Still afloat.

Thank you for the reminder Lauren. Thank you for not forgetting my Joshy.